Saturday, May 3, 2008


scene: Citiplace movie theater, notorious for the molasses-like speed of the concession workers

Me: (Walks up to one of the FOUR concession workers. Notes that there are only about 10 other people in the lobby - not crowded, not busy)
Her: Would you like to try a combo?
Me: No thanks, I'd like a small popcorn and a small diet coke. (Slides free small popcorn ticket across the counter)
Her: (To her coworker) How do I do this? (fumbles with register)
Her: OK you want a small popcorn and...(pauses, looks at me)
Me: and a small diet coke.
Her: (grabs the empty popcorn bag) A small...(pauses, looks at me)
Me: Diet Coke, and whatever he wants (points at Jason)
Jason: A large coke, and a box of skittles
Me: (watches the kid behind me have a meltdown)
Her: (Fumbles with register, grabs a small cup, sets it under the fountain, goes to get popcorn, comes back, sits popcorn on counter, sits small drink on counter)
Me: This is the diet?
Her: Oh, you wanted diet?
Me: Yeah, diet (suppresses urge to say "SERIOUSLY?")
Jason: Oh is that regular?
Her: Yeah
Jason: I'll just take that, oh no, wait, I ordered a large.
Her: (Takes small drink, tosses it, puts small cup under fountain. Waits for cup to fill. Hands me small diet coke)
Me: (Walks away because I can't imagine how much more confused she is now that she has to also make a large regular coke)
Jason: (waits 15 minutes for his coke, skittles (slight exaggeration), pays, walks over to the napkins and straws looking at receipt)
Me: Let me guess, she charged us for the popcorn.
Jason: No, actually, all she managed to charge us for is the Skittles...

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