Friday, May 23, 2008

The anticipation of sleep

I am a terrible insomniac. I've been taking 1/2 an ambien for a long time to sleep, otherwise I usually just don't. In January I started sleeping consistently without assistance. Sleeping very lightly, mind you, but still sleeping. Well, my sleep just got gradually lighter and lighter until when I DID sleep, it was restless. I dream these elaborate, epic dreams. Not really "bad" dreams, but sometimes disturbing, and when I wake up I can usually tell you every minute of the dream and every detail, but it would take 6 hours to retell it. It's very hard for me to wake up and "get out" of the dream, if that makes sense. It's like living a while other life which I then, of course, re-run over and over and over and over in my head when I'm awake.

It's exhausting.

So for the past week it's really been getting bad and besides the fact that Jason doesn't necessarily want the re-hash of my nightly insanity, I also start getting grumpier, my schedule gets WAY off track, and I end up not being able to focus on work very well. Last night I finally got in bed at like 4:50. When Jason woke up to go to work this morning, he told me I had until 3pm this afternoon to go get my ambien prescription refilled or there would be consequences.

SO I have ambien for tonight, and I have to say I'm rather excited about the prospect of actually sleeping.

I'm all for better living through chemistry :)

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