Just flipping through Baton Rouge's "premier" local monthly magazine...
In an article about how you should develop your own "secret family language" so strangers won't listen in on your conversations:
" My daughter and my knowledge of French is so weak that French is not a good choice for us."
Really? Is English?
Now here on page 36 is a recipe for "Watermellon slushies".
And in an article about discovering how great the magazine is:
"I may even learn where to buy that bikini I saw on the cover...it was cute and looked like one I had ions ago."
I agree, you seem to have lost some "ions"...
Which reminds me of one of my all-time favorite jokes:
A little ion walks into a bar, crying. Asks the bartender "Have you seen my electron? I think I lost it here". Bartender says "Sorry, no. Are you sure it's missing?" Little ion says "Yes! I'm positive!"