Saturday, May 30, 2009

The wonderful words of Terry Pratchett


Tonight Jason just happened upon an airing of the movie HogFather. The movie is an adaptation of the book by Terry Pratchett; one of the Discworld series. I love these books, all 36 of them plus the compendiums, maps, games, etc.

I didn't even know the movie existed, so it was QUITE a wonderful surprise. For those of you uninitiated, the Hogfather is basically the Discworld version of Santa.

Here's a near-the-end-of-the-book conversation between Death (well, the anthropomorphic personification of Death), and his granddaughter, Susan:

Scene: Susan has just accused her Grandfather of using trickery with words to make a point about humans' need to have faith and belief...

(Death SPEAKS IN ALL CAPS. Other Dialog is Susan)

I AM NOTHING IF NOT LITERAL-MINDED. TRICKERY WITH WORDS IS WHERE HUMANS LIVE.
All Right. I'm not stupid. You're saying humans need...fantasies to make life bearable.

REALLY? AS IF IT WAS SOME KIND OF PINK PILL? HUMANS NEED FANTASY TO BE HUMAN. TO BE THE PLACE WHERE THE FALLING ANGEL MEETS THE RISING APE.
Tooth Fairies? HogFathers?

YES. AS PRACTICE. YOU HAVE TO START OUT LEARNING TO BELIEVE THE LITTLE LIES.
So we can believe the big ones?

YES. JUSTICE. MERCY. DUTY. THAT SORT OF THING.
They're not the same at all!

YOU THINK SO? THEN TAKE THE UNIVERSE AND GRIND IT DOWN TO THE FINEST POWDER AND SIEVE IT THROUGH THE FINEST SIEVE AND THEN SHOW ME ONE ATOM OF JUSTICE - ONE MOLECULE OF MERCY. AND YET - AND YET YOU ACT AS IF THERE IS SOME IDEAL ORDER IN THE WORLD, AS IF THERE IS SOME...SOME RIGHTNESS IN THE UNIVERSE BY WHICH IT MAY BE JUDGED.
Yes, but people have got to believe that, or what's the -
MY POINT EXACTLY.

THERE IS A PLACE WHERE TWO GALAXIES HAVE BEEN COLLIDING FOR A MILLION YEARS. DON'T TRY TO TELL ME THAT'S RIGHT.
Yes, but people don't think about that. Somewhere there's a bed...

CORRECT. STARS EXPLODE, WORLDS COLLIDE, THERE'S HARDLY ANYWHERE IN THE UNIVERSE WHERE HUMANS CAN LIVE WITHOUT BEING FROZEN OR FRIED, AND YET YOU BELIEVE THAT A....A BED IS A NORMAL THING. IT IS THE MOST AMAZING TALENT.
Talent?

OH YES. A VERY SPECIAL KIND OF STUPIDITY. YOU THINK THE WHOLE UNIVERSE IS INSIDE YOUR HEAD.
You make us sound mad.

NO. YOU NEED TO BELIEVE IN THINGS THAT AREN'T TRUE. HOW ELSE CAN THEY BECOME?

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