Wednesday, April 6, 2011

carbon-based wood-encased erasable writing utensils

I don't like them. They scare me. When one is being used near me, all I can think about it how the lead is about to break, leaving jagged splinters of unfinished wood to scrape across the paper. And speaking of paper, I don't like to touch it with dry hands. (dry = no lotion available). The thought of this jaggedy, splintery, unfinished wood scraping across dried, pressed wood pulp gives me the heebies like nobody's business. It's distracting.

So yesterday was the first day of a three day class up in my agency's central office. And as I walk into class, what do I see? A neatly sharpened wooden pencil at every seat. My heebie jeebie level soared to new heights. What's a girl to do? COMPLAIN ON FACEBOOK, OF COURSE! And not even an hour later, a little fairy delivered to me three boxes of carbon-based PLASTIC-encased erasable writing utensils. Man o man, it pays to have friends in high places (THANKS POLLY!!)

And then I set about eliminating the scary, potentially deadly weapons from my environment. (Somebody could lose an EYE!!) Of course I did this at break and after lunch. I mean, I needed them gone but I'm not CRAZY or anything.

ONE GIRL would not give up her wood pencil. I offered her TWO mechanical ones in trade, but nope. She wouldn't trade. And so all day today, some little part of my classroom attention was listening for the sound of breaking pencil lead and then....horror of horrors......WOOD SCRAPING ACROSS PAPER. Fortunately it hasn't happened yet, but tomorrow is another day. ONE girl. Probably the same girl who insists on eating a PB&J sitting on a plane next to someone with a peanut allergy.

Just remember, Ms. Girl, karma is a bitch!

And P.S. here's a repost of a list I made in 2008, but my fear of wooden pencils dates to far, far earlier in life. In 7th grade I had a choice to use a pencil, make no mistakes with a pen, or make any mistakes I made with a pen into really cute doodles. (This was for a creative arts class). I chose to make doodles. Which took longer, but I just didn't want to risk the dangers of wood pencils.

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