Thursday, December 15, 2016

Magic Belly Button Healing Wand

So.....I haven't blogged about it yet, but I have a new job!  Since November 2015, actually. Same agency, but now I'm teaching in a classroom full time. This means I'm in Virginia a lot more than I used to be.  So far - loving it!

BUT, as y'all know, I don't get out much.  I am perfectly content to never leave the hotel.  I'm trying to BREAK OUT OF MY SHELL and move my body more.  So, two weeks ago my new coworker Amy and I went for a walk.  On the way, we saw a Tai Chi place about a block from our hotel. Talked about how we had both always wanted to do it. We went in, talked to the instructor, and signed up for an introductory class a couple of days later.

He was (and still is) super nice. 

And then, we started getting texts.  Texts of videos touting the amazingness of the MAGIC BELLY BUTTON HEALING WAND.

It cures diabetes and cancer and kidney disease and migraines and ebola!

Y'all, I cannot make this stuff up. 

SO.....even though I was feeling a little uneasy about the torrent of belly button videos, I went to Tai Chi.  The guy told us to get there 15 minutes early.  Y'all know I am not capable of doing a single thing 15 minutes early, but I did get there about 5 minutes early. 

Walked in, had to take my shoes off (my feet were stinky, too, because I just ran down to a store to pick up something for my BFF Dale before the store closed), and was sweetly escorted into the Tai Chi studio by the woman working there. 

And there was Amy (who had dutifully arrived 15 minutes early), sitting on the floor watching a video and using the BELLY BUTTON HEALING WAND.   I wanted to laugh/die of awkwardness, and then he told me to get one of the wands off the rack and sit down.  OK AWKWARD.  But Amy was a sport, so I decided I would be too.  I did the wand.  It was WEIRD, and made my belly button sore, and I only did it for 5 minutes.  Amy did it for 15 minutes.  Hers was sorer.

Then more people started coming in for class, and we did a great bit of stretching and then learned the first few moves of Tai Chi.  The guy was very nice, very supportive, made us smile the whole time.  I felt great from the stretching.

And really, he showed us this BELLY BUTTON HEALING WAND, and lots of videos about it, but never even once suggested we purchase one.  I appreciated that, and it made me feel less weird.

And who am I to say this thing doesn't work?  I know that the next day, the problem I was having from EATING SO MUCH CHEESE at Thanksgiving the week before fully resolved itself.  Was it all the coffee I was drinking?  The stretching?  OR THE MAGIC OF ANCIENT EASTERN MEDICINE?  I don't know the answer. 

I'm still not fixin' to buy a BELLY BUTTON HEALING WAND, but I have sort of been tempted to poke myself in the stomach from time to time just to see what would happen.....

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