The wonderful words of Terry Pratchett

Tonight Jason just happened upon an airing of the movie HogFather. The movie is an adaptation of the book by Terry Pratchett; one of the Discworld series. I love these books, all 36 of them plus the compendiums, maps, games, etc.

I didn't even know the movie existed, so it was QUITE a wonderful surprise. For those of you uninitiated, the Hogfather is basically the Discworld version of Santa.

Here's a near-the-end-of-the-book conversation between Death (well, the anthropomorphic personification of Death), and his granddaughter, Susan:

Scene: Susan has just accused her Grandfather of using trickery with words to make a point about humans' need to have faith and belief...

(Death SPEAKS IN ALL CAPS. Other Dialog is Susan)

I AM NOTHING IF NOT LITERAL-MINDED. TRICKERY WITH WORDS IS WHERE HUMANS LIVE.
All Right. I'm not stupid. You're saying humans need...fantasies to make life bearable.

REALLY? AS IF IT WAS SOME KIND OF PINK PILL? HUMANS NEED FANTASY TO BE HUMAN. TO BE THE PLACE WHERE THE FALLING ANGEL MEETS THE RISING APE.
Tooth Fairies? HogFathers?

YES. AS PRACTICE. YOU HAVE TO START OUT LEARNING TO BELIEVE THE LITTLE LIES.
So we can believe the big ones?

YES. JUSTICE. MERCY. DUTY. THAT SORT OF THING.
They're not the same at all!

YOU THINK SO? THEN TAKE THE UNIVERSE AND GRIND IT DOWN TO THE FINEST POWDER AND SIEVE IT THROUGH THE FINEST SIEVE AND THEN SHOW ME ONE ATOM OF JUSTICE - ONE MOLECULE OF MERCY. AND YET - AND YET YOU ACT AS IF THERE IS SOME IDEAL ORDER IN THE WORLD, AS IF THERE IS SOME...SOME RIGHTNESS IN THE UNIVERSE BY WHICH IT MAY BE JUDGED.
Yes, but people have got to believe that, or what's the -
MY POINT EXACTLY.

THERE IS A PLACE WHERE TWO GALAXIES HAVE BEEN COLLIDING FOR A MILLION YEARS. DON'T TRY TO TELL ME THAT'S RIGHT.
Yes, but people don't think about that. Somewhere there's a bed...

CORRECT. STARS EXPLODE, WORLDS COLLIDE, THERE'S HARDLY ANYWHERE IN THE UNIVERSE WHERE HUMANS CAN LIVE WITHOUT BEING FROZEN OR FRIED, AND YET YOU BELIEVE THAT A....A BED IS A NORMAL THING. IT IS THE MOST AMAZING TALENT.
Talent?

OH YES. A VERY SPECIAL KIND OF STUPIDITY. YOU THINK THE WHOLE UNIVERSE IS INSIDE YOUR HEAD.
You make us sound mad.

NO. YOU NEED TO BELIEVE IN THINGS THAT AREN'T TRUE. HOW ELSE CAN THEY BECOME?

Reaching into the vault

Trying to find the courage to write things again. Reaching into the vault to find inspiration. What I came across first was two of many poems I have always loved, written by my soul sister Charlotte a long, long time ago, and reprinted here with her permission:

deep ocean Once

far from home
sweet
home in eyes
(in eyes of her and you)

what do you think
sweet
of earthquakes and hurricanes
(and lightening and me)

one brief distraction
sweet
memories don't touch you
(you can't let me touch you)

so I'll remember you
sweet
and your deep ocean Once
(just a few waves away from me)

________________________________________
and......

I hold Orleans' dusk
heat and a feeling
of fear dirt and
sweat wet sex smells
sticks even on my
clothes and I dip in
my lips again.
Standing in and on you
not knowing where my
feet are going they've
no future together
or with the cracks in
your streets and
buildings.
Like nowhere else
you, part whore part saviour
part of
an everywhere no one has been
but will always
pray to and reach for
reach for
even at night now
your light is impotent
against this dark.
A man crossing
toward me a woman
walking away my
fingertips touch
and are bound by
humidity naked
each soul standing
near be becomes one by one
a carnival mask in
the one eternal parade
and no one can forget
you because like me
their feet know the way know
that way
and you will always know me
when I come
and I will always come
when you call.

Some randomness from April in no particular order

9> Conversation w/ neighborman:
Me: Hey NM! Want to come see my new cactuses?
NM: You mean Cacti?
Me: Oh, yeah, Cacti. Sorry.
NM: When it's more than one, it's CactI. "Cactuses" just doesn't make any sense.

8> Mom and I went to NOLA for the Beth Moore seminar. It was great! Very motivating. We also ate good NOLA food and went to the Botanic Garden, to which, believe it or not, I had never been. It was a good Mom/Daughter weekend that we both needed.
(Mom @ Cafe Degas)

7> I went to my chiropractor for the first time since November. His office has a new policy, and it was going to cost me like $450 out of pocket. His offices are incredibly inconvenient for me, so I decided to take the opportunity to change Dr.s I go to the new one for a 1st appt. next week.

6> I bought a new car!

5> I was in NOLA way too much in April. My monthly travel voucher was $2800, and that didn't include any airfare. Normally they aren't over $1000.

4> I got to have lunch with Andree and baby Lucy, and Meredith and I had dinner with Maegan and baby Evan. Both babies are PRECIOUS. I didn't have my camera with me to take any of Lucy :(




3> I got on a shrimp kick. Mainly boiled, especially with cocktail sauce from Acme Oyster House which burns...Burns....BURNS, but is like crack to me. And the BBQ shrimp at R&O's in Bucktown is amazing.

2> Jason and I went to the first part of the Hilltop Spring Garden Tours. Saw some neat-o things.

1> My red passion vine started to bloom.

Yeah, Whatever

I have spent the last month in a very introspective state. It's a conflux of conditions. A result of years of non-connection, introversion, and settlement. The fact that I'm turning 40 in a few short weeks. Because I just hit a decade of marriage. Because economic conditions are affecting my job and may or may not be opening new doors. Because my dogs are getting gray beards. Because the trees I planted in my garden are actually looking like....trees. Because of facebook, and reconnection with people I never thought I'd talk to again. People who have been, and are, very, very important and influential in my life but have been MIA from my life for various reasons. Other people I wasn't as close to when I was younger, and I'm loving getting to know them better. People who I'm close to and always have been, but facebook is giving me insight into another side of them.

I've spent lots of time talking to those people and reconnecting. Realizing that I have ignored my roots and it has only done me harm. I should have listened more to what I learned in master gardener class....."Take care of the roots and the rest of the plant will take care of itself". I'm going to start taking more care of my roots.....and not just the ones on my head.

I think decade markers are always a cause to reflect and plan. I'm not saying I've had a bad 10 years, I'm just saying that I want the next 10 to be better. I'm not wanting to settle. I know what I want out of life, I think, and I think I'm on a path to get it.

And yeah, I know that may be vague. But I don't have to share EVERYTHING with the internet, right?