Thow'd off

So, for the past 16+ years I have examined credit unions for the federal government. I can say that although it may SOUND boring, it's anything but. I'm somewhere different all the time, and always faced with a different challenge. Now if you know me, you know that I can tend to be a bit....passionate? Dramatic, some would say? Over-emotional, some may add? I can't deny it. But it is one thing I really can't be at work.

I have cried 3 times at a credit union (well, due to something work-related, anyway). The first time was my first year on the job. The manager was this little old man and he was SO mean to me. I kept asking for stuff he didn't have, and he finally just started flinging papers at me and yelling. I packed my stuff up and left, and held back my tears until I got into the hallway of the building. However, he chased after me to apologize and saw me crying. Then he started crying, and told me that he had rescued a kitten and had been bottle feeding it for days and it had died the night before.

It taught me a lot. Mainly, that people's reaction to what I'm telling them or asking them many times has nothing to do with what I'm telling or asking. An important lesson for anyone, but especially for someone who is generally delivering negative news.

Time # 2 actually had nothing to do with the credit union, it had to do with the other examiners I was working with. Let's just say they were all having bad weeks (lives) and leave it at that. I ended up SOBBING in the bathroom for an hour. (OK granted, this was pre-zoloft.)

Time # 3 was this past Tuesday. The President of this credit union showed up to our meeting 2.5 hours late, told me she only had 20 minutes, I said (LITERALLY) like 5 words, and she jumped my case for 20 minutes about things that were patently untrue, in front of my supervisor, and the manager of the credit union. I maintained my composure until I was behind closed doors with my boss, but then I couldn't hold back the tears.

Whenever I start to tear up, I think of the heartfelt words of my cousin Kristi who, on my wedding day, took my hand, patted it and said "Don't cry....you really aren't a pretty cryer."

There weren't very many tears and thankfully my boss knows better since he knows what work I've done there, but still...totally embarrassing.

Anyway, it's been a shitty week. This woman is obviously "thow'd off" but her outburst sort of threw me off track too. I'm having a hard time getting my work momentum going again.

Please remember: Federal Examiners have feelings too. We are from the government, we are there to help. :)