ALIENWARE Aaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggg!!!!

OK before you customer support/ retail working people blast me for this let me just say yes I'm WELL AWARE that the CS reps generally have NO authority to actually help me with my problem and yes I'm WELL AWARE that it's not actually their fault. But...I do believe in the squeeky wheel theory of life.

So for your enjoyment, here are this week's calls to Alienware.

Tech support: "Michael" 10:37am Feb 2
Me: (Outlines problem.) "I want a refund."
Michael: "Let me send you a fedex shipping label, you can send it back to us, we'll get it Wednesday, I'll put a note on the account to expedite the repairs, you could have it back Friday or at the lastest Monday next week"
Me (In a cold-medicine induced stupor): "ok"

When Jason woke up, (he's totally nocturnal @ this point), he cannot believe that I settled for that option. And the more I think about it, the sicker I get. But I am DOPED and feeling like I have the plague. I am mentally compromised! It isn't a fair battle!

So on the 3rd, Jason sweetly and dutifully boxes up the system as per Alienware's instructions and delivers the box to an authorized Fed Ex location. It's Second Day delivery. So on the 5th, I'm calling to check.

Tech support "Gracie" 2:50pm Feb. 5: "I can't help you because we haven't received the computer yet. Why don't you call back at the end of next week and check then."
Me: "WHA!?!? The end of NEXT WEEK?! there's no WAY I'm waiting for a BRAND NEW computer that long and you sent me a broken computer and blah blah blah blah.
Gracie: "Well the account says expedited so they will look at it within a day or two of getting it to the shop."
Me: "I want to talk to Michael"
Gracie: "He's not available"

So I sit here all day stewing and worrying.....and finally can stand it no more.

Tech support "Dave" 10:12pm Feb 5: "The computer didn't get here today even though if was scheduled for two day delivery, but I'm not sure why, I don't see any exceptions."
Me: "Dave, what would you do in this situation. You people sent me a BROKEN brand new computer. Do you understand my frustration here? I have a $3K charge sitting on my credit card. I have no confidence that you can fix this system. You should have immediately sent me a brand new system that WORKS. Do you not TEST the systems before you ship them?"
Dave: (very nice and patient) . "The note says expedite so I would say that they'll look at it within 1 or 2 days of getting the system in."
Me: (Stomach-ache grows, but DAVE was sweet.)

So I wake up this morning. Stewing. Worried.

This time Jason is in the room with me.
Tech support "Peter" 11:08am Feb 6: "I can't help you because the computer has not arrived yet. The Fed ex truck had a problem blah blah blah it wasn't picked up from the drop-off location until yesterday @ 6pm. You should track the package on Fed-Ex.com"
Me: I'm not interested in tracking the package. YALL should be tracking the package. Actually, yall should have sent me a new working computer when we said this one didn't work.
Peter: "I'm just technical support. I can't send you anything."
Me: "I know that PETER. But what I'm looking at right now is that I have paid for a BRAND NEW computer, and what I'm going to end up with is a REBUILT computer, which I could have bought for about $2K cheaper. That does NOT make me happy. What do the notes in my account say?"
Peter: (reads I suppose) " Well you are shipping the computer in for repair and it will take about one and a half weeks for us to take a look at it..."
Me: "STOP! Do the notes say expedited and 1-2 days and blah blah blah".
Peter: "No"
Me: Proceeding to WIG OUT. Yelling ensues. Supervisors are called (Peter's) We get put on hold. Supervisor answers. Throws out the words "RESTOCKING FEE" ($500). I SERIOUSLY WIG. Jason gets involved. NO MORE NEGOTIATION. We want a full refund and we are done. We are not paying a %!@%^ restocking fee when you sent us a BROKEN MACHINE. Talking talking blah blah blah Customer service will call you within 48 hours, blah blah....yada yada yada...

Me: calls credit card company to close credit card account, dispute charge.

Me: TOTALLY distracted for rest of day. PISSED. Disappointed. Nervous that I still have an uphill battle to get the full $3000 refunded.

And.....happy weekend to you too ALIENWARE.