Oreos

It was the year 2000. My BFF Charlotte was staying with me, and we tend to get silly. Whilst sitting at my dining room table, the conversation turned to the newly introduced mini Oreos, which we had independently and coincidentally tried THAT VERY DAY.

We agreed they SUCKED, but couldn't exactly decide why.

This (not surprisingly) led to a jaunt to the grocery store where we obtained additional mini Oreos, along with regular and doublestuffs for comparison's sake.

Returning with our bounty of chocolatey goodness, we were able to draft the assistance of my chemist husband. Experiments and documentation ensued.

And what resulted was, perhaps, the best letter ever written to a corporation. And which remained unsent, lost, and languishing in an electronic hell for 10 years.

UNTIL NOW.

Charlotte FOUND THE LETTER. And now, as my birthday present to you all, I will share. And hell yes, I'm sending it to Nabisco tonight too.

Charlotte Bosarge
Sonya Pickens
Baton Rouge, LA 70809
October 17, 2000

Dear Nabisco,

Thank you very much for making the new "Mini Oreo Bite Size.” It is a great idea. However, something in the new cookie just isn't right.

We had a theory that there was not the proper ratio of creme filling to cookie. We measured and calculated the ratio of creme filling to cookie for each of the regular, doublestuff, and mini Oreos.

First, let me say that we were thrilled to discover that indeed, the ratio of the filling to cookie in the DoubleStuff Oreos was, in fact, double that of regular Oreos. However, this test proved our theory wrong, as the ratio of filling to cookie of the mini Oreos falls in between that of regular and doublestuff Oreos. (See attached spreadsheet.)

That has led us to the following alternative theories:

1> These cookies seem crispier, perhaps “scorched”? Perhaps the small size of each wafer calls a lower cooking temperature, or shorter cooking time.

2> The concentration of cocoa in each cookie could be off? These cookies appear a smidge darker, but we did not have any Erlenmeyer Flasks with which to conduct cocoa content analysis.

3> We observed that the diameter of the creme filling in the mini Oreos can fluctuate between 2cm, and 2.2cm, which leaves almost no "lip of wafer" on which to rest America's favorite creme filling. The "lip of wafer" is a very important part of the whole Oreo experience. Without a proper lip, it is very difficult to properly separate a wafer from the creme filling (for ease of dunking, and similar).

Although our tests were inconclusive, we would still like to express our impression that the overly chocolate taste of the cookie wafers overwhelms the creme filling in the new mini Oreos. We feel that some adjustment should be made to make the taste of the mini Oreos more pleasing. Thank you very much for your consideration.

Sincerely,

Charlotte Bosarge
Sonya Pickens

POOOOOOOOOOOOL!

Lately, having a pool has become an obsession. I think it first kicked in when Jason and I went to St. Croix in 2008 and stayed at a cottage that was 20 steps from the ocean. I must have been in that water 20 times a day. But it's just gotten worse since then.

My dream is to have a lap pool.....


BUT...For those of you who haven't been to my house, I have NO yard. My lot is 120 ft. / 40 ft. On this lot, I have a driveway that is 100 ft. long, a house, a 2 story detached double garage, a pergola, and a large deck. And an entry garden. The only place I could put a "real" pool it in the driveway.

Which I suppose is not too practical.

And there's the fact that Jason and I continue to toss around ideas of moving to the Mississippi Coast ( and could you blame me? Look what's there: (That would be my most precious niece, K.E.S. aka doodlebug)).

I know that when you put something out in the universe long enough, it comes to you. So about a month ago, I started living AS IF I already had a pool. Example: I wake up in the morning, think about swimming, say "I'm going to get in the pool". Jason laughs. I go take a semi-cold shower and envision myself swimming laps. Example: I work in the yard and get nasty and hot. I say "I'm going to get in the pool". Jason chuckles and rolls his eyes. I go sit under the hose and envision myself sitting in crystal clear, blue, cool water.

So last week, I don't know if my talk put the idea in Jason's head or if he was just sick of hearing me talk about it, but he figured out that we could put a 10 foot inflatable pool on our deck.

And yeah, it's not a "real" pool, but I can submerge myself. I can float. I can hook my feet over the edge and "swim laps". I can swim from one side to the other totally under water.Jason bought me a noodle (a pink one), and a little shark that holds the chlorine.

It's a little crowded on the deck, but hey! Now I can garden FROM THE POOL.

I have been swimming about 50 times so far. I feel better already. I'm sure my vitamin D level is up. This morning I spent about 2 hours out there reading. This pool cost us $70. It took about an hour to set up (a few hours to fill). And it may just change my life.

If you need me, I'll be at the POOL!

I often run in to Elvis on my morning walks

K.E.S.;s birth announcements

Drawn, printed, and hand-painted by her biggest fan (that'd be her Nonya).

New Damn Dog

Eats socks. Not chews socks. Slices sections of socks off like a precision cutting machine. Many other fabricy objects are also in danger.

round things

I like taking pictures of round things. So sue me.

Sprained ankle

Hadn't walked in like 3 weeks until this past Monday. Stepped on an uneven patch of grass. Rolled my ankle. Mild sprain. Was really swollen Wednesday, I looked like I had 2 different people's feet.

Bruised now but better, think I may try to walk in the morning.

July 4th weekend.

Went to see Kaylin last night. Oh and my brother and Alex were there too (ha!). She smiled and cooed....AT JASON. She loves him. She finally smiled at me some, but she definitely was smiling more at Jason. Dammit. LOL.

Came home Sunday morning. Lazy day listening to The Passage with my hubs and doing computery stuff.

Hope to get out in the garden tomorrow and find my back gate. If you don't hear from me I'm probably buried under the Cayratia.

Crazy things I've heard

• 2009 "If they don't pay me then I can't pay for daycare and I'm just gonna bring my baby up here with all his toys and balls all spread out like it's Chunky Cheese."
• 8/10/2008 "That teacher was crazy as all outdoors." (What does that MEAN?)
• 7/25/2008 "We had some little bitty mice in here last week, and my Dad said there must be a mama in here and the babies are hatching." (This from a 55 year old woman)
• 7/25/2008 "She keeps casting aggrizations at me."
• 7/24/2008 "She wears enough cologne to gag a magnet."
• "He's about as sharp as a sock filled with soup."
• "I'm going to caulk this up to a miscommunication."
• "She smoked pot as an escape goat."
• "Half of one, a dozen of the other."
• "They did a complete 380."
• "It stretched and stretched until it was taunt."
• "He fought tooth and neck."

7/24/2008 "Mamawisms - things said by my dear grandmother"

• "It's as hot as a done 'tater."
• "He's in there knocking lost john."
• "Well that just knocks the rag right off the bush."

Random TLB's (TLB is my coworker who I love and who keeps me entertained) "

• "This wind could blow a rooster into a jug." (quote from TLB's Dad)
• "This place had a weird atmosfeel."
• "That's messed up like a soup sandwich."
• "Oh listen to this! Tattoo's mamma's housekeeper broke up with her on a sticky note."
• "Oh yeah - I smell what you steppin' in"
• "That's messed up like a football bat."
• "Look at this. I got all my stuff spread out from hell to breakfast."
• "So yeah, we had a keg at the baby shower last weekend..."
• "So my sister said, "Well ya know, TLB, you can be a little overwhelming...""
• "So then Tattoo said "Woman! For the sake of our relationship you better start drinking!""