Earlier in January, I was out of town for work for a few days. Texted Jason just to check in. Now when I tell you I never know what I'm going to get when I talk to him, I mean it. He cracks me up on the daily. On that particular day, this was the conversation...
Jan 9th, 4:25pm
Sonya: hey
Jason: Hi welcome to Jason 44.4
What can I help you with today?
Sonya: haha
Well, you can give me a doodle report.
Jason: I would be happy to user Sonya
Would you like a written or visual report?
Sonya: Written is fine.
Jason: The unit called "The Doodle" is currently experiencing what humans most typically call moping.
She has not be allowed egress into the wilds beyond the home's perimeter, and is currently curled in a ball on the floor next to the tub sighing repeatedly.
Sonya: HAHA
Cabin fever!!
Jason: Our best estimates for mood recovery is 5 pm, coinciding with her feeding ritual.
Unless user Sonya would like to order a treat ritual between now and then?
Sonya: Oh yes let's do that!
A rainy day treat!
Jason: Remote treat rituals are subject to $5 A.I. surcharge, do you wish to proceed?
Sonya: ummmmmm
That seems steep
Jason: I am not programmed to negotiate system surcharges that accompany the Jason sub-routine.
Sonya: Fine. is that per treat or per treat time?
Jason: That surcharge is per ritual, not lasting more than 2 minutes.
Sonya: I'll pay it. She's worth it.
Jason: Consent received.
Sonya: dork hahaha
Jason: Scheduling treat ritual for 4... 45
Would you like to customize your treat with a hug or overly exuberant praise?
(I got distracted and did not response immediately...)
No response. Scheduling cold, heartless delivery of treat at 4:45 pm.
Have a wonderful day user Sonya!
Sonya: BWWHAHAa
WAIT!
I would like to customize with overly exuberant praise and some pets.
Jason: Did you require something else?
Remote treat ritual modification comes with a $25 A.I. surcharge.
Sonya: GOOD LORD.
Let's go with cold, heartless delivery.
Jason: The system will happily add your modification ...
Very well user Sonya.
Extended system engagement comes with a $5 per minute surcharge. Would you like to remain logged in?
Sonya: um No?
Jason :Goodbye.
Sonya: This system is expensive. Did I sign an agreement for this?
Jason:
Hello user Sonya, what can Jason 44.4 do for you today?
Sonya: hahahahaha
Jason: The system is pleased you are content user Sonya.
Is there anything else the system can help you with today?
Sonya: You are a little scary good at this.
Jason: I am programmed to perform 10^10 functions, and I excel at all of them.
Would you like a task list?
Sonya: Well maybe not the WHOLE list.
Jason: Ambiguity while using the system comes with a $50 surcharge.
Would you like to continue to be wishy washy?
Sonya: ok, ok sheesh. Yes please give me a task list.
Jason: Preparing text delivery of task list. Estimated time for collation: 44.8 hours.
Please hold.
Sonya: BWWWHAHAHAHA
Jason: Please hold.
Error. Spelling processor runtime error 0x9h4
Rebooting.
Sonya: hhhhhhhhhhhhhhahahah
Sonya: Did I get any packages
Jason: I am sorry user Sonya, system queries cannot be fulfilled while the system is rebooting.
Acceleration of the reboot time comes with an A.I. surcharge of $500.
Sonya:
Jason: Enjoy this screensaver while you wait.
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